Foie Gras

I feel a bit pathetic right now. I just read about foie gras. I had heard about it but I never knew what it was, so I looked it up. I haven't eaten meat in nearly 10 years for various reasons. I'm not one of those vegetarians who is loud about my vegetarianism and tries to convert people to my ways, so don't worry about this post being a diatribe intended to incite feelings of guilt in my less than 5 readers.


Anyway, I read about foie gras and how a process called gavaging is used on the ducks and geese. Gavaging is force-feeding. They put a tube down the birds' throats and pump food into their stomachs. I just imagined what that would feel like and it made me sad. I managed to keep myself from crying at my desk tough... so +10 points for me.

Solo Dolo

Sometimes when something is bothering you—something you don’t even like admitting to yourself—you try to get counsel from someone you think might be able to help. Sometimes things don’t go as planned. Sometimes your soul-sharing and your unburdening and your unveiling will upset the people you want to help you. They push you aside and get angry and tell you to fix yourself but you don’t know how to fix yourself. As badly as you’d like to and as much as you’ve tried and as many times as you’ve beat yourself up about it, you can’t change yourself. You don’t know how to fix yourself. And then you have nobody left to talk to but strangers on the internet. And you decide that it’s safest to keep your secrets and your problems to yourself and to not let even your closest friends in the real world know more than they need to. And then you remember something that you should have never forgotten. At the end of the day, you only have yourself, so do right by her.  

Triggers

I hate how something as small as a 5-word sentence can be a trigger for a tidal wave of negative emotions. I hate that it takes so long to feel okay after something bad has happened to you. I hate that through no fault of your own you have to wait and wait and wait for a time that may never come. Because when something bad happens-- something that's big enough to shake your faith, trust, and worldview-- going back to normal just doesn't come easily. It may never come at all.


But what's the best course of action to take? Do you say to yourself "this bad thing happened and it really messed you up and things are never going to be the same, so just get used to being miserable." Or do you say "this bad thing happened and it really messed you up and things are never going to be the same, but maybe, just maybe, things will get better."


I don't know.

Intro

I started this blog because I didn't want my "main" blog to be full of sulky posts. But the truth is that I feel most inclined to write when I am upset about something. I decided to create Sulk and Moan for just that reason. My posts here will be sulky. They will be my therapeutic release.